Your partner is not a renovation project
Compatibility cannot be built entirely on the hope that the other person will become someone else.
Sometimes we choose a person; other times we choose what we think we could turn them into. The second option comes with a lot of work and with someone who may not have asked to be renovated.
I understand the temptation. You see good things, you see potential, you imagine what it would be like if they communicated more clearly, if they assumed, if they understood. Each "if" seems reasonable taken separately. Put together, they sometimes describe a person considerably different from the one in front of you.
People can change. But the possibility of change is not a promise made to you. Even your patience cannot replace their willingness to change. You can explain what you need and support a real effort. You cannot make that effort on behalf of both.
For me, compatibility does not mean thinking identically. It means being able to live with the real differences, not just with their corrected version in a convenient future. There should be good will, a bearable rhythm for both and some values that should not be renegotiated at every discussion.
And I have to accept the same rule. If I claim to be seen as I am, I cannot treat the other's preferences as temporary flaws. Some can be adjusted. I simply don't fit with others. Incompatibility does not need a culprit to exist.
The question I would ask before all plans is: if this person remains broadly as they are, do I still choose them? If the answer is no, maybe I'm not building a relationship. Maybe I'm just waiting for someone else's delivery.